Happiness, Peace, Love, and Joy

What would we do if such things were tangible?

This article is a rescue mission. It is my first step towards attacking my overflowing drafts folder. I started this particular message in early December when Christmas was at the forefront of my mind, so the seasonal desire for “peace, love, and understanding” was the catalyst of this topic.

Happiness, Peace, Love, and Joy (HPL&J)

Much like the Snipes many of us were sent off to hunt as kids, the harder we seek Happiness, Peace, Love, and Joy, the more elusive they prove to be. However, unlike Snipes, we know they are out there; we see them in the actions of others, advertising teases us with them, and our hundreds of friends flaunt them on social media. The TV and movies we watch show us how wonderful they can be and how terrible things can be in their absence. The network news leverages the latter to keep us fearful and convinced that these seemingly simple things, Happiness, Peace, Love, and Joy, are things for which are not worthy.

So, we struggle to scrape out a handful of them for ourselves. Sometimes, I feel like a Russian peasant from the Cold War, waiting in line for beets, potatoes, or toilet paper. Not knowing what is available on any given day, but waiting, nonetheless. In the same way, as we learned to picture them quietly trudging home with either their meager rewards or quiet frustrations, we stand quietly in our homes virtually “staring at the cupboards” set aside for ‘happiness and such,’ only to find them wanting.

However, like the air we breathe and the sounds we hear, we know happiness, peace, love, and joy exist. Sadly, like air and sounds, we can’t just grab a handful of them when needed. If only we could pull out a magical ice cream scooper from a holster on our hip and carve out a healthy scoop of happiness to go. (Imagine a snowball fight, but with compressed balls of happiness, peace, joy, and love scooped out of the aether. That’d be a good day.)

‘Tis the season for Joyball fights!

The thing is, Happiness, Peace, Love, and Joy are out there; we just have to watch for them. Mr. Rogers once shared some excellent advice he received from his mother regarding coping with tragedies. She told him to “always look for the helpers…because if you look for the helpers, you’ll always know there is hope.” However, we don’t need to wait for tragedies to employ the wisdom of Fred Rogers’ mother.

When I was struggling back in December, around when I started this post, I was deeply depressed. Happiness was not on the menu. So, I decided to go on a Snipe Hunt. I would spend the day looking for anything positive. It happened to be football season, and as I sat down to watch a game, I held my notebook in my lap. I noted each time a player helped someone up from the ground. I was surprised by how many times members of opposing teams did so. Also, I recorded the times teammates slapped each other on the shoulder or back for support.

So, when we find our lives lacking in Happiness, Peace, Love, and Joy, we should look for them in the actions of others. We must remind ourselves they exist. Once that raises our spirits, we can do our part to add to the kindnesses in the world. Therein we may find the Happiness, Peace, Love, and Joy we seek.

This is not groundbreaking, amazing, or even surprising, but we are often blind to it when we do not actively watch for it. Did this cure my depression? No, but it did raise my spirits a bit, and when we are down, every little step up helps. Seeing goodness in others is a gentle reminder that regardless of what the news tells us, the sky most certainly is not falling. If members of opposing football teams, after laying each other out or battling over inches of ground, can still reach out and hand an opponent back to their feet, I think we are all going to be OK.

Takeaway

• When feeling down, switch your focus from the internal struggles, whatever yours may be, and look outward for signs of goodness. It may be a car stopping for a pedestrian, someone holding the door for a stranger, or just a simple smile as someone walks by.

• To put it simply, don’t curse the absence of something; seek the presence of it instead.